How To Have A Conversation

Conversation is an art form that we all use daily. We should learn how to do it in a constructive and enlightening way, while keeping it enjoyable to all involved.

Many people seem to be talking at others rather than talking with them. Their “conversation” is one-sided, never taking into consideration what the other person might have to offer or might enjoy.

A good conversationalist will listen actively to the other person and ask penetrating and thoughtful questions as the discourse goes on. Conversation is more about listening intelligently than in talking about oneself.

There are times when two people are together; and no real bond is established between them indicating common interests for discussion. At times like those, one should change the subject repeatedly until some common interest is uncovered; and then, a real conversation can begin.

I believe that conversation should very seldom consist of “small talk” about inconsequential subjects, such as the weather or what was on sale at the grocery store. Surely, intelligent people can find subjects to talk about that have some real and important significance! We have all met someone who has the gift of sniffing out real subjects to talk about. With those people, it is virtually impossible to waste time talking about superficial subjects. To me, those people are to be sought out for inspiring and informative conversation.

Some lead-in comments or questions for initiating a good conversation might be such things as, “Tell me what you have been concerned about lately.” Or, “Have you been reading any books recently?” “Where do you go to church?” There are an infinite number of opening questions that might stimulate good conversation.

Always watch your respondent for signs of “listener fatigue:” Not maintaining eye contact or looking at the wrist watch or shifting stance from one foot to another might indicate that the respondent is tired of the subject being discussed.

Practice good conversation and think about it in advance: What do I want to discuss with the other person? Happy listening and talking!