To Have Children or Not to Have Children—the Question

An article in the Wall Street Journal dated 19 June 2010 attempted to show that families with lots of children are happier and generally more satisfying than families with no children or with few children.

The author, Bryan Caplan, Professor of economics at George Mason University makes the point that many modern people think that having children is too expensive, too much trouble, and very likely to impinge upon their own happiness—is all that true? Caplan points out that there is a kernel of truth in all this. He indicates that according to the National Opinion Research Center’s General Social Survey, in parents with only one child, that child makes their parents 5.6% less likely to be happy than those people without any children. After the first child, there is a narrow difference in happiness criteria between those who have children and those who do not. The childless seem to be slightly happier than people with children. Every additional child that the parenting group has makes them “1.3 percentage less likely to be ‘very happy.’” The first child seems to do most of the damage to happiness criteria.

The above survey showed that the real boost in happiness criteria came about with marriage—married adults are 18% more likely to be happy than the unmarried. If the data is stratified and controlled on age, marital status, and church going habits, it turns out that the older, married, and church going are happier than their counterparts—and they have more children.

The crucial question in this kind of research is “If you had it to do over again, would you or would you not have children?” Parenthood wins out hands down in this kind of research question. A Gallup poll in 2003 found that only 24% of childless adults over the age of 40 wanted to be child-free.

Many parents think that their pressure, encouragement, money, and time are the only things that stand between their children and failure. According to Caplan, research shows quite the opposite. Long-run effects of parenting on child outcomes are much smaller than one might initially think; and, therefore, parents do not need to fear the necessity of putting too much time into the raising of their children. Caplan cites several studies by behavioral geneticists that seem to indicate that parenting efforts have little to do with child raising outcomes in the long term. Parenting efforts do affect the short-term outcomes of child raising, but as children become mature adults, they often adopt different life styles and values from their parents.

This whole study seems to demean parenting and says that whatever parents do to raise their children well really does not matter—children will do as they please, anyway. Common sense says something different from all this. For instance, where do people learn to play the piano? In childhood, of course—and from their parents. What is the source of the disconcerting effect of good home schooling? College entrance committees and scholarship boards are telling the whole country that home school students are outstripping public school students in academic performance. That home school training on the part of parents is evidence that parenting efforts do pay off. Also, Caplan’s line of reasoning flies in the face of the biblical admonition that if we “Raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

I do not disagree with Caplan when he says, “…good parenting is less work and more fun than people think.” But he misses the point that growing old without children is a lonely experience. One of the main joys of this life is raising children and having the satisfaction of seeing them develop into productive, healthy, Christ-honoring adults. Too many people, these days are spending all their young adult years, when they have energy and strength, on themselves and their personal pleasures of travel, sports, and a myriad of other things which have no lasting value. They take birth control pills and finally decide at the age of 35 when natural fertility is waning and when they no longer have the flexibility to deal with children, that they finally want a family. It is too late, then, for many couples. The very best time to have children is in the early 20’s. Well nurtured children are life’s greatest satisfaction. Furthermore, good parenting does count. The results are frequently very good and children, well raised, are the source of much pride, as they continue to grow and add strength and joy to the family.